Today we welcome first-time mom Kelly to the blog. She brings the perspective of having been inundated with what she feels were inaccurate and unfair “warnings” about pregnancy and motherhood, usually via sarcasm or joking. She and I talked long and hard about this post in its original form, as I had personally experienced the other side of the coin. I feel no one really properly prepared me for the challenges of motherhood or talked about the practical, physical, and emotional difficulties they had endured. Sure, more people than not claimed to have hated pregnancy- that seemed to be a p.c. topic of conversation…morning sickness, stretch marks, heartburn, the whole bit. But, no one told me how life-changing, particularly for a woman in her 30’s with an established lifestyle and career, shifting gears into mommyhood would be. After discussing PPD and the other challenges that Kelly and I both faced, we agreed that she should present both sides; for what better way to prepare a mama than to be honest? Thanks, Kelly, for your flexibility with your post, and for presenting a balanced perspective on new motherhood for the readers. I love how you’ve captured how the joys and challenges of parenting are equally matched for most mothers.
“Juuuuuust wait”… LORD how I hated that my ENTIRE pregnancy. It quickly became my biggest pet peeve. People made becoming a parent sound awful.
Yes, I’m a first time Mommy; as I often say “I’m new!”, so yes, I’m learning as I go. I truly wasn’t prepared for all the negativity, sarcasm, and just flat out rudeness people threw at me.
My hormonal pregnant self had a harder and harder time biting my tongue the more pregnant I got. I would hear….
“Alone time? JUST WAIT! You won’t know what those words mean after having kids!”
“Just wait, you will never get a date night after the baby comes.”
“You better sleep all you can now, JUST WAIT; you are going to be exhausted once that baby gets here”
“Broke now? HA! Juuuuust wait”
Those are just a few of the many I heard during my 9 months of pregnancy. Facebook, emails, face to face, at my baby showers….so frustrating.
Why not be positive? As if being a new mommy, first time pregnant woman isn’t enough. As veteran mommies, why not take us newbies under your wing and be encouraging? I know personally, I WANTED to be pregnant! I wanted my baby! So for people to talk so negatively just drove me nuts. Why can’t everyone just be excited with me, for me, and celebrate!?
So to you new mommies? IGNORE IT! And listen to me…
Your life will change in an amazing way when your little one comes in to this world. The changes are good, scary, frustrating, funny, all of the above. There is most definitely an adjustment period.
You will feel like Wonder Woman (or Captain America) after giving birth, whether its naturally, with drugs, c-section, etc. You’ll also feel like your body is broken, and has been run over by a truck…twice!
You will love this tiny human like you’ve never loved anything or anyone in this world. And on some days (more likely, nights) you may want to pull your hair out and wonder how something so tiny can cause such a ruckus. Baby will cry, and sometimes you’ll cry right along with ‘em.
You will all of a sudden be a Mommy, you just wake up one day, and it happens- people aren’t lyin’ when they say it’s a natural instinct. On the other hand, some women (myself included) suffer postpartum depression or other postpartum disorders so that might prevent it from happening right away, but it will happen.
Suddenly poop, pee, puke, drool…does not phase you. Although some days they will totally gross you out- especially in the beginning.
Seriously people. Shut it with all these crazy annoying negative “Just Wait”s and let’s be happy. Pregnancy is hard enough with out adding that little gem on top of it. Babies ARE a blessing. And why scare the bejeezus out of a new mama? I think new moms bring enough anxiety and fears on to themselves through out their pregnancy- they don’t need help in that department! Yes there will be some hard, not-so-fun times. There will be nights you cry your eyes out, days you’re too tired to even consider showering. I’m not saying sugar coat everything for new moms and tell them its going to be this Brady Bunch Perfection, because that’s just a flat out lie. I’m just saying, be gentle. There is no need for the sarcasm, snotty remarks, and negativity. Be honest, but in a loving way.
CELEBRATE LADIES! Enjoy every single second, good & bad. I kept hearing I would miss being pregnant, which just sounded NUTS to me at the time, swollen feet & all. But now? I totally get it. I DO miss it! So soak it up, it’s 9 months to create your little one and make them perfect in every way… JUST WAIT! You’ll see! 😉
Kelly Rickels is 26 years old and mother of one! Her baby girl is 15 months old, and her husband is her middle school sweetheart. She blogs and works full-time from home.